The hatchlings and the larvae

Hatchlings: baby bird                               Larvae: baby bees

That's right... the birds and the bees...kind of. Well, the beginning of them at least.

Because I have 2 girls, we've never had to have a name for boy and girl parts. Everything up until recently has been referred to as "bottom", "front", "back" or "private area" (except when Kherington was about 3, she had been to the bathroom with a boy at the babysitter's and she came home and educated me that "boys have a stick and girls have a rainbow").  Anyway, those 4 words were basically how my mom referred to that area with me and it has resulted in a perfectly healthy adult... Kind of. Ok, I'm a grown woman who has to force herself to say any word - even the medically correct terminology - for that area (see, I can't even type the words) and I often have to ask my husband what certain words or phrases mean because I am a tad naïve and innocent (just a side-note: don't ever google something you think may be of sexual content. Ask your spouse or a trusted friend. It's much safer.)

So, Kherington turned 5 and was about to start school and I decided that she needed some words to refer to that area for several reasons. 1) we have talked since she was 2 about our privates being special and who is allowed to touch that area (me, her dad, the baby-sitter and her mimi) and we only touch them when we are helping her wipe. (Please have this conversation with your child! There are many sickos out there hiding under many positions that your child, God forbid, may come in contact with.) Because my ability to control, choose, and supervise her peers and teachers is being significantly decreased due to school, I want her to have good language and vocabulary to explain exactly what  happened if (God please protect my children!) something ever did happen. Reason 2) I want to be the source of sex-education to my children. If I have never even been able to talk about different body parts with them, they will turn somewhere else for information (I am not so naïve to believe they will be completely open and honest with me their whole lives but I do believe that open conversation begins now) And finally, I want them to be comfortable enough to say the words..."penis" and "vagina" when they're 33. There, I typed them! Success.

Ok, now for the good part. So this summer, Kherington was in my bathroom when I got out of the shower. She made some comment that would allow me to use those words. "Rainbow. We call that a rainbow!" is what I wanted to shout. 10 long seconds of an internal debate willing myself to say that word, I finally whispered "vagina". "What?" she asked. "Vagina. That's the name of that part." Beads of sweat started rolling down my face and my palms became clammy. "And boys have a".... (gulp. why is my heart pounding? say it, say it)... "penis". "oh ok" she replied nonchalantly and went skipping off to play with Barbies. Whew. That wasn't too bad. I did it! I gave her a name for those parts and she didn't ask questions and didn't seem to be scarred for life. I gave myself a pat on the back and marked that off my "need to do" list.

Until last week. Kimber pulled her shorts up way too high and I told her I could see her cheeks. Kherington laughed and remarked how she didn't know those were called cheeks. I made some comment about "yeah, we have 4 cheeks. 2 on our face and 2 on our bottom" She continued to think that was comical and I started laughing because she was laughing so hard. Then, she said "3 people in this house have 4 cheeks" and I corrected her by saying that 4 people have 4 cheeks. She then inquired "daddy has cheeks too?" "yep". "Oh. I thought since he had that long one in front that his back was different too." At least I think that's what she said. My brain stopped working after hearing "that long one" and it just kept replaying that phrase in my head as I realized we were about to have the terminology talk again. CRUD! I then had a vision of her as a 15 year old in the locker room saying something about boys and "their long ones". I then came to my senses and remembered how easily the first conversation went. I finally made myself say it again... (gulp. Breathe.) "Penis. That long one is called a penis." "Hahahaha! It sounds like peanuts! Penis, peanuts! Penis, peanuts!" on and on. "PLEASE STOP SAYING THAT!!" I shouted wanting to cover my ears with my hands. "And when I drop you off at your private Christian school in 20 minutes, please don't say that word to anyone! You can say it at home or ask questions to me or daddy about it but let's just keep it with our family." (to which my husband later informed me "I want no part of any of those conversations!" Great... we have 2 girls which means I have to have all "the talks" and he gets off scotch free. No fair!)

I know these conversations can make us parents uncomfortable - especially "church" people who have been taught certain topics and/or words are taboo. But our kids will learn these words from someone. Wouldn't you rather be the one teaching them? I would. At least until my 5 year old walks around saying "penis" over and over - then, I have to think twice about it. The good news is I've now survived 2 of these conversations without God striking me down or my child needing therapy.